We can't help who we fall in love with. That is one of the many adventures to life. There is nothing that can make us feel as good as true love, yet at the same time there is nothing that can break us like true love can. In my line of work I get to experience many journeys involving love. Roller coasters. Deep situations that have led people to the brink of death. In this article I want to talk about how love can turn into obsession really quick, and you may not even know it. I want to also give an example of how obsession can ruin your life. Read through until the end to learn the most valuable lesson you can ever learn regarding love, and how it can change your life.
Ryan is a long time client of mine. I have been giving him readings for a very long time and have even spoke of him before in my blogs. He is in love with a woman named Tammy. They have a long history together, and lived together in India for many years. Life had taken them in different directions. He was originally from the USA, and has now returned. She ended up taking a college stay in New York City - but they fell out of contact.
She had decided school was the best for her. After all, she is young, smart, and wants to be the first in her family to really make a difference in the world. Nobody else in her family had ever had a college degree. She wanted to be the one to step outside that box.
Ryan was used to her replying to his messages right away, having all the time in the world to sit and message him. He is a very specific type of energy who needs constant approval. He had recently lost his parents and was alone for the first time during the holidays. He couldn't get her out of his mind.
What was she feeling about him? What were her thoughts about him? Why wasn't she messaging him? Who was the other people in her new photos? This went on and on - one reading after the other, this became a full time job for me. So three to eight readings per day happened for awhile. As with other situations I have told you guys about, this was no different. I told him to stop messaging her so much. This was going to ruin it - and make is seem through her eyes that he was obsessed, desperate - and this pushed her away.
I told him that when he messaged her, wait for the reply. She is a busy person, going through a lot, and the last thing she wanted was him constantly messaging her. It got to the point he was way over doing it. He would send her multiple messages at a time. "Are you mad" - "Why are you ignoring me" - "Did I do something wrong".
This all took place within minutes. Keep in mind it is the holiday season - an immediate response isn't likely and this is what I told him. One message - wait for a response - then it is okay to reply. He did the opposite.
His birthday was coming up and one of his predictions was she would try to see him on his birthday. This was before he exploded her phone when I told him not to do it. I told him this would ruin things - yet he persisted anyways. He knows he did wrong, yet consequences are something I don't feel he understands.
So now after he obsessed and did the opposite of what he was supposed to do, he is upset that now the birthday just isn't going to happen. I feel bad because I know he loves her - yet he needs to understand she is her own person, trying to make it in the world. She does care about him - that has never changed. Yet he is pushing her away by obsessing and it is sad. This is the third time he has messed it up by the obsession. The need to know her every move and thought. The stalking on social media. Love can turn into obsession really quick, and this is how people get hurt.
He had to come to terms with the fact we all have consequences. Obsessing can push someone away as it did in his case for the moment. He hasn't lost or ruined this completely yet, and we have talked about this on a personal level. There is still hope in his case, and now he knows how important it is to be patient. He is now using the law of attraction along with other things, and I feel he has many reasons to be optimistic.
Love is real - yet the other person has their free will. Realize that just being yourself makes the world of difference. Give someone time to respond. Each one of us has our own lives and just because we may have one way of thinking and handling issues, doesn't mean that someone else has that same method. Some people take time to respond. Myself, I don't text at all - so when I get one, I never respond. It doesn't mean I don't care - it just isn't my thing. Some people just need time and don't see the sense of really rushing love. Love is a world all on it's own.
It comes with happiness, pain, laughter, crying and everything in between. It can turn into obsession when you need to know their constant moves, their constant thoughts, what they are doing, who their friends are, why aren't you getting an immediate response. These are all signs of obsession, and I have never seen a case of love obsession turn positive. Obsession turns people away. They begin to see you as desperate, and that is not attractive.
Be yourself, I know you can't help who you fall in love with. None of us can. Yet if it is not reciprocated, learn to move on. Further obsession will only ruin any chances of any further interaction. You can only try so hard, but when they aren't showing you that same respect back, you know that even though you are in love - it is time to really move on. I can't put it any other way. Obsession leads to jealousy, hatred, anger, and violence.
Stay true to the light side of life. Love is love - it happens to each of us. Just don't let it turn into obsession. It will sink into your soul and eat you up until you are nothing but a sad, lonely and bitter person. Don't let yourself become that way. Now that you know the boundary between love and obsession - learn when it is okay to hold on and when to let go.
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